Blog Parents How High of a Standard Should I Set For My Child?

How High of a Standard Should I Set For My Child?


Hello there, fellow parents!

Let’s be honest here, we all want the best for our children. We want them to succeed in every aspect of their lives, whether it’s in academics, sports or their future careers and passions. But when it comes to setting standards for our kids, we may sometimes wonder how much is too much.

How do we strike a balance between pushing them to excel, and the deep end of overwhelming them with expectations?

In this article, we’re going to lay out all there is to know about this question, and explore some tips on how to set the right standards for your child. Let’s begin!

The Importance of Setting High Standards for Your Child


Having a standard is akin to setting the right framework for your child to work towards a goal.

Exclusive offer for first-time customers only!
Get 15% discount off your first lesson and no agency fees! Choose from a selection of reliable home tutors and keep learning even while at home. Claim this promotion today.

When you expect too little of your child, they will sometimes dismiss the latent potential in themselves and settle for less. 

On the contrary, higher standards can push the limits of their personal growth and development. Values like a sense of responsibility and accountability, appreciation for hard work and dedication, perseverance and resilience are driven into their mindset as they continue to put themselves to the standards you’ve set. 

After all, you won’t always be around to guide your child. Learning to endure and manage the various types of stress that they might face in their lives is expected of them when they’re older, and the self-confidence ingrained at an early age can go a long way to that end.

Questions To Ask Before Setting The Standards

How Old Is My Child?


Age and level of developmental stage should be taken into consideration firstly. 

As children grow, they gain new skills and abilities, and experience behavioral changes accordingly. Standards should be made with age-appropriate and realistic expectations. 

What Needs and or Abilities Can I Identify From My Child?


Every child is unique, and standards should be set to take into account their individual needs and abilities. Some children require special attention or accommodations to meet certain expectations, while others may excel in certain areas and need to be challenged accordingly.

Perhaps they’re showing more interest and talent in performance arts, or maybe they’ve really been acing those Geography tests. Keep in touch with your child’s academic affairs, so you can tailor expectations that can accentuate and grow those strengths.

Am I Being Clear and Consistent With My Standards?


Consistency is key. Keep your standards enforced well, and your child should know exactly what is expected of them. Clear communication is crucial, and standards should be explained in a way and language that your child can understand.

Parenting is hard, don’t do it alone
Receive weekly parenting tips, latest MOE updates, and how to prepare your child for examinations.
You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

Am I Being Realistic With My Standards?


Finally, ask yourself if you’re being realistic with your standards.

There is always a possibility that your child may find it too difficult to achieve the high standards you have set. At times, it may be tempting to expect your child to be on the level or better than their high-achieving peers. However, this can be counterproductive as it can lead to your child feeling frustrated and inadequate.

If you find your child often feeling too much pressure from your expectations, perhaps you’ve emphasized too heavily on grades and have neglected to assess your child’s personal ability first.

If you’re unsure, a third party involved directly in your child’s education can often be a better judge and can advise you on your child’s strengths, weaknesses. 

Ultimately, always consider your child’s abilities and set achievable goals. As they meet these milestones, you can slowly raise the standard.

Remember that it’s always important to leverage the risk of burnout to what you want your child to get from the goals that are set. 

Role Model As A Parent


As a parent, it is important to understand the significant role you play in shaping the character and behavior of your child. A key aspect of this is being a positive role model for your child to follow.

Your child looks up to you and will often mirror your actions and attitudes. Therefore, it is essential that you exhibit the kind of behavior and values that you want to instill in your child.

Whether it is being honest, respectful, compassionate, or hard-working, your actions will speak louder than your words.

Being a role model as a parent also involves being intentional about the values you want to instill in your child. Discussing your values as a family and modeling them consistently can help your child internalize and adopt these values as well.

Ultimately, being a positive role model for your child requires effort and mindfulness. By modeling the kind of behavior and values you want to instill in your child, you can guide them towards becoming a responsible, compassionate, and well-rounded individual.

Keeping Up With Your Child — A Journey Together


A child’s level of motivation is oftentimes the biggest factor to how well they perform. While underlying interest in their studies can be a plausible motivator, children mainly seek parental guidance, understanding and praise throughout various stages in their lives and find support from them.

Thus, it is important to know that positive reinforcement is key to success. Motivate your child to reach standards by rewarding them for their good performance, however little of an improvement from the last.

Praise, positive feedback and rewards serves as a catalyst that encourages the child to strive for more significant accomplishments.

Ultimately, you are the key influencers to your child’s growth. Always be sure to balance your expectations and your child’s mental well-being so that you can create a good standard for them to work towards.

To read more about this topic, check out a few of our related articles below.


Less Is More: Letting Your Child Grow With Less Protection

What To Do If Your A Levels Result Doesn’t Meet Your Expectations

Rum Tan

Rum Tan is the founder of SmileTutor and he believes that every child deserves a smile. Motivated by this belief and passion, he works hard day & night with his team to maintain the most trustworthy source of home tutors in Singapore. In his free time, he writes articles hoping to educate, enlighten, and empower parents, students, and tutors. You may try out his free home tutoring services via or by calling 6266 4475 directly today.