SmileTutor Blog Parents Parenting Tips Is Praising My Child for Every Achievement Ruining Them?

Is Praising My Child for Every Achievement Ruining Them?

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Parenting is a complex journey that comes with a lot of trial and error. One of the most common practices parents follow is praising their children for their achievements.

While there’s no denying that praise is essential for building a child’s self-esteem and confidence, some experts believe it can adversely affect your child’s development.

In this blog post, we’ll delve deeper into this topic and explore the advantages and disadvantages of constant praise. We’ll also provide tips on praising your child effectively and helping them grow into confident and well-adjusted adults.

So, if you’re looking for guidance on raising your child right, keep reading.

Why is Overpraising Not Good?

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Understanding that overpraising your child can do more harm than good is important. When you praise your child for every little thing, they start to rely on external validation.

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Eventually, they may lose their internal motivation. Your child might develop a sense of entitlement, leading them to believe they have a right to rewards and praise without putting in the necessary effort.

Feelings of inadequacy might also arise because your child believes they’re not good enough without constant approval.

Negative Effects of Overpraising Your Child

Overpraising your child may seem harmless, but it can adversely affect their development. The consequences can be far-reaching, from creating an unrealistic sense of self-worth to discouraging them from taking risks.

1. They Can Lose Interest in Activities

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Over-involving yourself in your child’s achievements can make them feel like you’re intruding on what they like.

As much as they will need your guidance, children love it more when they accomplish something with their own effort. But when you start investing in or over-identifying their interests, you can influence them negatively.

So how do you go about it the right way? When your child accomplishes something, instead of overpraising, don’t stop supporting or complimenting them.

Take notice of what they enjoy doing and encourage them to do better appropriately and realistically. While giving them the support they need, don’t label them as experts at doing something.

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To have a true sense of self-worth, children need a sense of autonomy and independence. Learn to quietly recognize the activities that interest your child and build their self-esteem.

2. Disappointment in Life

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As a parent, you’ll always go out of your way to ensure your child receives the best. Unfortunately, you can go to the extreme, and your life can start revolving around that of your child. 

When you treat your child like royalty and fulfil all their desires, you fail to give them the true reality of life. When you actively over-involve yourself in everything including laundry and homework, they may lack a sense of direction.

They may end up not getting a chance to feel good about themselves. Your child will also not be well prepared for their future as teenagers and adults. You could unknowingly handicap your child by doing too much for them.

3. Feelings of Inadequacy

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Building false hopes in children makes them believe they need to do something significant for them to be recognized. A child will most likely not feel good about themselves because all the overpraising feels unrealistic and empty.

Hero-worshipping your child leaves them with uncertainty about their capabilities. When a child has feelings of self-doubt, they won’t have the motivation to try. They will likely hold back because they are scared of failing.

4. Feeling Entitled

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Overindulging or overpraising your child makes them know they’re better than other children. Unfortunately, it’s not a lasting feeling and can create insecurity.

An overpraised child will feel entitled because they believe they will always get what they want in life. Unfortunately, entitlement will leave them unprepared for the true nature of life’s challenges.

A sense of entitlement might eventually hurt a child because they lack the skills to support their nonexistent ambitions.

How Can You Praise Your Child The Right Way?

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Praising your child the right way is essential for their growth and well-being. Here are important tips to keep in mind:

Be specific

Rather than using general praise, such as “good job,” be clear about what your child did well. For example, “I’m proud of you for finishing your homework before dinner.”

Be genuine

Your child can tell when you’re not sincere. Make sure your praise is simple and specific to their accomplishments.

Don’t overdo it

It’s essential to praise your child, but don’t overdo it. Save praise for when it’s sincerely deserved rather than for every little thing they do.

Encourage effort over the outcome

Encourage your child to put in the effort and try their best rather than focusing solely on the result. This will help them develop internal motivation rather than relying exclusively on external validation.

Praise progress, not perfection

Celebrate your child’s progress rather than expecting perfection. It will help your child understand that mistakes are a natural part of learning and that progress is more important than perfection.

Conclusion

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When a child feels inclined to outperform other children, they will not have the innate motivation to undertake an activity. Tasks will only interest them if they can prove they’re the best.

Offering your child opportunities to feel good about themselves instead of overpraising them will help them grow up as all round and happy children.

Create the right circumstances for them to be compassionate, generous, and self-sufficient. Not only will these boost their self-confidence, but they will also help them realise their sense of worthiness.

Rum Tan

Rum Tan is the founder of SmileTutor and he believes that every child deserves a smile. Motivated by this belief and passion, he works hard day & night with his team to maintain the most trustworthy source of home tutors in Singapore. In his free time, he writes articles hoping to educate, enlighten, and empower parents, students, and tutors. You may try out his free home tutoring services via smiletutor.sg or by calling 6266 4475 directly today.