I remember my parents rolling their eyes when I told them I wanted to appeal to attend the same secondary school as my best friend.
But the problem was that I had already been accepted to a much better school!
Parents, if this is you, I understand.
Man, was I naive! And I didn’t realise how important and life-altering my secondary school choice would be.
And you also know who might not understand? Your child!
But can you blame them? They’re only 12. So as their parents, you should guide them to make the right choice.
There are many factors to consider when choosing the right school for your child. And with the 136 secondary schools in Singapore, even you might be overwhelmed right now.
But this isn’t the time to rest and make casual decisions. So read on to find out how you can help your child make the best decision for them!
Firstly, What Factors Should You Consider?
Being Asian, we all go for prestige, right?
What else could matter more than prestige? If my child goes to a good school with a prestigious name and history, that’s half the battle for their future won.
You’re not wrong. In fact, that’s the right thinking to have.
But that’s not the only right way to think.
Over the years, many students from these prestigious schools have come out with their stories of what it was really like to study in these schools.
I attended an SAP school and while the school provided many opportunities for us, the culture in these schools can get quite toxic. The teachers can be elitist, and bad mental health is the norm, with the amount of pressure they put on their students to do well.
So instead of thinking of what’s right for your child, think about what’s best for them.
There are many factors to this, so continue reading!
What’s The School Culture Like?
School is where your child will be spending 5 days a week for the next 4-5 years of their life.
So considering the culture of the school is important.
Do they have a lot of school events? Is the Parent Support Group big and active? Do they have student support with counsellors?
These are some valid questions to ask and look out for when you’re looking at different schools.
Also, does the school focus on student development?
My secondary school focused on instilling the desire for lifelong learning in us, but unfortunately, many schools just see their building as a place for the students to study!
So choose wisely.
Is Mother Tongue A Priority?
The world is changing rapidly, and who knows how global your child’s career will be?
But no matter what their future holds, it’s undeniable that learning a second language greatly benefits their brain and character. And it also looks impressive on their resume!
So if your child’s Mother Tongue abilities are a priority for you and them, then it would be wise to look into a SAP School.
Not to worry even if they’re struggling with Chinese, as you can always get Chinese tuition to help them catch up.
SAP Schools are ‘Special Assistance Plan’ schools that focus on their mother tongue.
Are Co-Curricular Activities (CCA) Important?
This might seem like a trivial one.
But for the parents whose children are on the school team for a sport or art, like modern dance or rhythmic gymnastics, this could be a huge draw.
There are countless benefits to attending a school that offers many CCAs.
From letting your child explore their passions to going through personal growth and learning valuable skills, do not neglect the importance of CCAs!
What Are Your Family’s Values?
Also, living in a multicultural and multi-ethnic society in Singapore, many of our schools are influenced by various religions and ethnic beliefs.
Let’s say you’re Muslim. Your child might feel out of place or uncomfortable if they have to attend weekly mass at school if you send them to a school of Christian faith. They might also feel out of place if there aren’t a lot of fellow Muslims around.
It’s also important to consider what your family believes in and whether the school’s vision, mission, and values align with what you want in your child!
Where Do You Live?
Think about how tired your child will be if they have to wake up earlier and travel a long distance to school.
How focused and prepared can they be for class or when they do their homework and revision after school?
So be wise and pick a school that’s a comfortable distance for your child to travel to, 5 days a week.
Also, consider the journey they’ll have to take to get to school. Taking a straight 45-minute bus ride to school will be less tiring and stressful than a 45-minute journey that involves taking the train and changing two buses, right?
Lastly, It’s About Them, Not You
Remember when I said above: “You can help your child and make the best decision for them.”
The keywords here are ‘help’, and ‘best’.
Yes, they’re your child. But this is their life and not yours.
So in this case, you’re their right-hand man, and they’re the captain. You can advise the captain to steer the ship, but ultimately, it’s up to them.
Remember my story?
I was a stubborn 12-year-old. So my parents did not say anything to dissuade me. Instead, they compared the two schools with me, which showed me how the school I’ve been accepted to is undeniably better.
So if you can foresee your child steering their ship the wrong way, set them back on the right path.
You want them to see you as their ally, not a control freak who’s out to ruin their life.
It’s Not The End Of The World
(Credits: Mediacorp)
I know I said that I didn’t realise how ‘life-path-altering my secondary school could be’, and I don’t want to be spinning you around for a game.
But at the end of the day, it’s not going to dictate the rest of their life.
How many of us have gone on to live vastly different lives from what we expected when we were 16?
I have friends who were delinquents in secondary school but went on to graduate with honours in university. And I wanted to be a baker, but I’m writing articles now!
Conclusion
Going to secondary school is such an exciting time in your child’s life, as they’re growing up!
So while it’s not going to be the most important decision of their life, don’t just pick a school willy-nilly either.
Looking at your child’s needs can help both of you make a more satisfying decision!
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