As parents, we want the best for our children, and we can go out of our way to do all that we can so that they succeed in life. The teen years are the most difficult part of their lives when they are transitioning from childhood to adulthood. These are the years for our children to learn and fine tune their life skills and strengthen their characters as they enter adulthood.
You might have had a good relationship with your teenager. All of a sudden he becomes rebellious. He starts missing school, talking back to you and even being rude to other members of the family. Your teenager has become unruly when he rebels against authority, against other peers or even against himself. Once you realise that your teen is becoming rebellious, then you should take immediate actions so that you can help him and yourself understanding this phase he is going through and help to overcome this bad behaviour.
For a start to solve a problem, you need to understand why. The major reason as to why our teens resist us when we try to help them is that the adults sometimes try to exert ourselves into their lives when the teen feels that he does not need your help and that gets on their nerves. On the other hand, a teen can resist your help due to peer pressure too. If your son realises that his peers have been given the freedom to make decisions for themselves, he will feel like you are trying to control his life. He will try to test your limits and resist to follow any rules.
On the other hand, a teen can resist your help due to peer pressure too. If your son realises that his peers have been given the freedom to make decisions for themselves, he will feel like you are trying to control his life. He will try to test your limits and resist to follow any rules.
He might resist parental help when he is under pressure or stress in school. He might be bullied or have learning difficulties in certain subjects. He might be embarrassed by his failure to right things on his own and not want adults to interfere.
What Can A Parent Do
What we can do as parents when our teens resist our help is to ensure that our teens know that we are there for them. That we are by their side all the time, ready to support and guide them with unconditionally love.
The first step in helping a teen is to be at a position that you can be able to differentiate between their usual behaviour and their abnormal self. Be sure to address any weird or out of norm behaviour immediately. If you notice more than one abnormal behaviour, deal with each issue separately. The next step is to confront the teen about the issue. However, when confronting him, ensure that the environment is conducive i.e. do not confront him in front of his friends so that he will not feel intimidated.
The next step is to confront the teen about the issue and discuss it. However, when confronting him, ensure that the environment is conducive for a heart-to-heart chat. For example, do not confront him in front of his friends. The last thing you want is for your child to be intimidated into obeying your orders or embarrassed in front of his peers.
To help your troubled teen, you need to cultivate a healthy two-way communication with him. Healthy communication is when you give your teenager room to decide for himself without interfering with him and yet leaving the door open such that he can talk freely with you when he needs to without any barrier between the two of you. Be ready at all the times to listen to your teenager and readily give sound advice whenever he comes for help. Another great way to dish out advice to your teen is to get them to arrive the answer by themselves with you asking probing questions like “How does it make you feel? Why do you think it made you react this way?”
Whenever you realise that your teenager is not willing to take your advice, do not force yourself on him. If and when your teen resists your help, be willing to take a few steps back from your child, hold your tongue and always be ready at a moment’s notice to give him a warm embrace, a ready shoulder to cry on and an attentive listening ear. He will come out a stronger person, and your relationship with him will be cemented for many years to come.
Getting Outside Help
If your teen persistently resists your help, it is high time for you to seek professional help. When you are looking for help from someone, be sure to look for a professional who has personal experience with teenagers. It is advisable to find a professional who works with teens either as a coach or tutor. The best help that you can get from a tutor includes parenting advice as well as professional counselling for your teen because it is important that you and your teen be on the same page.
These professional experts will be able to help your teen to deal with his emotional problems like stress, low self-esteem, peer pressure. They can use the cognitive behaviour modification techniques to help your teen positively overcome his bad attitude. Once your teen can handle his emotional problems, you will begin to see changes in his attitude and his grades will start to improve.
If you are having difficulty managing your teen, don’t despair because you are not alone. There are plenty of related online forums and help is always readily available. This is a normal phase that they need to struggle through. With the help of a professional coach and your unwavering unconditional love and support, your child will sail through teenhood and transit into adulthood without incidents.