Are you someone who rather stays at home, cuddled up in your bed while your friends are out raving?
Well, if that’s your preferred lifestyle, chances are that you’re an introvert.
An introvert is someone who’s often reserved and quiet.
When it comes to social events, introverts tend to avoid them as much as they can, as these activities can drain them physically and mentally.
Based on Eysenck’s theory, introverts have naturally high levels of arousal.
Which means they tend to be more sensitive to their surroundings, which takes up a lot of energy from them.
Hence, introverts usually find environments and do activities that offer them a space to escape from overexertion.
Signs You’re an Introvert
Here are some signs that show that you’re an introvert,
– It drains a lot of your energy when you’re with people
– Your circle of friends is very limited (1-4)
– You enjoy being alone
– People usually describe you as a quiet person
– Outsiders/strangers find it hard to know you as a person
– You have high self-awareness
– Jobs that require high level of independence attract you
Hence, if you display or manifest any of these signs, you’re probably an introvert.
Tips on Making Friends Who Understand You
Being introverts, you’re not just looking for friends so that you can expand your social circle.
You’re looking for friends who understand what it’s like to be an introvert, so that y’all have a common understanding.
With that being said, I’ll move on to tips that can help you make more friends if you’re an introvert!
1) Think of the People Near You
Instead of going all out and heading to a party or attending a social event, you should first get to know more about those near you.
You can start by getting to know people like your neighbours, your classmates who you’ve never interacted with, your colleagues.
Chances are that a few of those mentioned above will have the same mentality as you, and are introverted, which gives you guys a common topic to start on.
2) Take the Initiative
How many times have you actually started a conversation?
Being an introvert, you probably have no experience of it at all.
You usually wait for someone to approach you and initiate a conversation, and if they don’t, you’ll probably not talk to them, ever.
You fear starting a conversation with others as you might not know what to talk about and end up creating an awkward atmosphere.
Or, you fear rejection.
“What if he/she doesn’t want to eat lunch with me?”, “What if he/she doesn’t show interest when talking to me?”, etc.
These are the negative thoughts that tend to flock your mind and make you doubt your ability to make friends.
Now you must be thinking, “How do I muster up the courage to initiate a conversation?”
Well, the only tip I can give you is to try.
You just have put it into action, even if it means that you’ve to step out of your comfort zone.
You can’t expect people to just naturally come to you and befriend you just because they’re outgoing.
What are the chances of it happening?
Hence, if you want to make friends, you have to step out of your comfort zone and take the initiative to start a conversation.
3) Let People Know Your True Self
Do you usually keep up a facade so that you can appeal to others better?
This is quite a common occurrence for introverts as you tend to be more empathetic and sensitive to others.
And it can be really tiring being someone you’re not.
If you want to befriend people who truly understand you and what it’s like to be an introvert, you should show them the true side of you.
How can you show people your true side?
When interacting and opening up about your lifestyle, you can say things like “Oh, I’m not really a party-goer.”, “I actually get nervous when I’ve to talk to people.”, “I’m actually a rather awkward person.”, etc.
This is also called healthy vulnerability.
When you make yourself vulnerable and people still decide to befriend you, that’s how you make true friends.
4) Be the one Asking Questions
When you successfully managed to initiate a conversation with others, instead of you being the one who keeps answering their questions, you should be the one asking questions.
When you ask questions, the spotlight will be on the one answering.
Meaning, you’ll not be constantly under pressure since you’re not answering questions.
However, you should know the balance between asking and answering.
Make sure you allow the other party to ask you questions as well so the conversation isn’t one-sided.
Nobody likes one-sided conversations.
5) Put Your Feelings First
As mentioned above, it can be really tiring for introverts when maintaining friendships.
So, it’s imperative that you ask yourself everyday these questions,
– Do I feel happy after spending time with him/her?
– Do I feel drained just from spending a few hours with him/her?
– Am I able to be myself when I’m around him/her?
– Am I being treated with respect?
If you notice that you’re constantly feeling tired and unsatisfied after meeting a specific person, it’s best that you cut ties with him/her.
Having another source of exhaustion is purely unnecessary, and stepping away from such people will free up so much energy and time for you.
6) Notice the Other Party’s Level of Interest
As someone who is sensitive and emphatic, you’ll probably often wonder if someone likes you.
And it can be quite difficult to gauge how much someone likes you, and not just listening to you for the sake of it.
Here are some checkpoints for you to see if the other party is genuinely interested in you;
– Do they want to know you better and often ask you questions?
– Is the other party often distracted by their phones or their surroundings?
– Do they ask for your number so they can make future plans with you?
If your answers are “no” to the questions mentioned above, sad to say, the other party is not interested in you.
They are just less sensitive and probably prefer to hang out with extroverts.
And that is not your fault at all!
Don’t get disheartened over it.
7) Stay In Touch With Your New Friends
Now, this point is only applicable once you made new friends.
Once you’ve managed to make some new friends, it’s important that you constantly keep in contact with them.
You can ask them out for lunch/dinner, do recreational activities, or whatever you want to do.
If you don’t, It’s very easy to feel distant from your friends after not meeting for a long time.
And that would mean all the effort you took to step out of your comfort zone and know them will be wasted.
Hence, you should stay in touch with them, even if they don’t initiate plans with you.
8) Find Yourself a Private Tutor
As an introvert, you may find socializing in large groups exhausting.
Sadly, you can’t change the fact that school classes are in groups of 20-40.
Consider getting yourself a private tutor who can teach you on a personal level at the comfort of your home.
You’ll not only be able to concentrate and learn better, you might even become good friends with your tutor!
In fact, with our friendly home tutors, you probably will.
Honestly, it takes time for you to come out of your comfort zone and create a long-lasting and meaningful friendship.
But I can guarantee that it’s worth all your efforts once you manage to make even a few true friends who will stick with you for life.
With that said, I wish you all the best at making new friends and becoming best buddies!
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