As a parent, it is surprisingly easy to become the person who remembers everyone else’s schedule but keeps postponing your own.
You know when your child’s tuition starts. You remember the next parent-teacher meeting, the upcoming exam dates and probably which CCA ends late on Thursday. Yet when it comes to your own health check-up, “I’ll book it next week” can quietly become several months.
I think this is especially relevant for fathers who are busy balancing work and family, as well as male tutors whose schedules revolve around their students.
Prostate cancer is not something I want to sensationalise. Many urinary symptoms have causes other than cancer, and early prostate cancer may not cause symptoms at all. But that is precisely why it helps to understand what changes deserve medical attention rather than trying to diagnose them yourself.
Why Prostate Cancer Awareness Matters in Singapore
Prostate cancer is currently the most common cancer among men in Singapore, according to the Singapore Cancer Society. Age and family history are among the factors associated with increased risk.
At the same time, prostate cancer does not behave exactly the same way in every person. Some prostate cancers grow slowly and may cause little or no trouble during a man’s lifetime, while others can progress more aggressively.
Early prostate cancer often has no noticeable symptoms. SingHealth notes that prostate cancer is usually seen in men over 50, although younger patients can also develop it.
For busy dads, that is an important distinction. Feeling perfectly well does not tell you everything about your prostate health, while having urinary symptoms does not automatically mean you have cancer.
What Prostate Cancer Symptoms Can Look Like
When symptoms do occur, some of the changes associated with prostate cancer involve urination. Possible symptoms can include difficulty passing urine, urinating more frequently, particularly at night, a weak or interrupted urine stream, pain or burning when urinating, blood in the urine, or blood in the semen.
Other possible symptoms can include unexplained weight loss, loss of appetite or persistent pain in areas such as the back, hips or pelvis.
However, this is where I think health articles need to be careful.
Having one of these symptoms does not mean you have prostate cancer.
Benign prostate enlargement, urinary tract infections, kidney stones and other conditions can cause similar symptoms. So if you suddenly find yourself waking several times every night to urinate, for example, the useful response is neither panic nor dismissal. It is simply worth discussing the change with a doctor.
Why Dads and Tutors Can Be Particularly Good at Putting It Off
Running SmileTutor has given me a front-row seat to just how packed the schedules of Singapore families can become.
There is always another school deadline, tuition lesson, exam, CCA or work commitment demanding attention. Parents naturally prioritise their children. Tutors naturally think about their students. But your health cannot permanently occupy the last empty box on the calendar.
This is something we have touched on in our guide to self-care for parents. Looking after yourself is not separate from looking after your family. It helps you remain physically and mentally capable of doing everything your family depends on you for.
The same applies to tutors. Good time management for tutors should not mean squeezing another lesson into every available hour. A sustainable timetable needs space for your own responsibilities, rest and health as well.
There is also a practical knock-on effect when urinary symptoms begin interfering with sleep. Getting up repeatedly during the night can make an already busy workday or teaching schedule harder to manage.
Don’t Wait for an Obvious Symptom
One misconception worth clearing up is the idea that prostate cancer will always announce itself through urinary problems. It may not.
Early prostate cancer frequently produces no symptoms at all. That does not mean every man should immediately arrange a PSA test. Screening is more complicated than that.
The Singapore Cancer Society states that there is currently insufficient evidence to support population-based prostate cancer screening in Singapore. Instead, whether screening is appropriate should be discussed with a doctor based on factors such as your age, family history and individual risk.
What About the PSA Test?
You may have heard of the prostate-specific antigen, or PSA, test. It is a blood test that measures PSA levels. Men with prostate cancer can have elevated PSA levels, but a high result does not automatically mean cancer.
Other prostate conditions can also increase PSA. The Singapore Cancer Society’s screening information explains the potential benefits and limitations of PSA testing.
There are benefits and limitations to testing. PSA testing may help identify some cancers earlier, but it can also lead to further investigation in men who ultimately do not have cancer. Some cancers detected through screening are also slow-growing and may only require monitoring.
That conversation is far more useful than ordering a test and trying to interpret the number yourself.
Know Your Family History
Family medical history is one of those things many of us vaguely know until a doctor asks for specifics. Did your father have prostate cancer? How old was he when he was diagnosed? Did your brother have it? Suddenly, “I think so” does not feel particularly helpful.
You do not need to build an elaborate family medical database. But knowing whether your father, brothers or other close relatives have had prostate cancer, and approximately when they were diagnosed, can give your doctor useful information when assessing your individual risk.
Make Your Doctor’s Appointment More Useful
If you have noticed urinary changes, it can help to make a few notes before seeing your doctor. Consider when the symptoms began, whether they have become more frequent, how often you wake during the night to urinate, whether you have experienced pain or bleeding, and what medications or supplements you currently take.
You are not collecting this information to diagnose yourself. You are simply giving your doctor a clearer picture.
For anyone who wants some background reading before an appointment, TTW Urology also has a detailed overview of early prostate cancer signs and when to see a doctor. As with any private medical resource, I would treat it as supplementary reading rather than a replacement for your own medical consultation.
Put Your Health on the Family Calendar Too
One of the simplest things a busy father can do is treat his own medical appointments with the same seriousness as the rest of the family calendar.
If your child has tuition at 7 pm, it goes into the calendar. If there is a school meeting next Tuesday, it goes into the calendar. If you need to see your doctor, put that in too.
There is a connection here with something we have discussed previously about working-parent guilt. Parents can become so accustomed to measuring their time according to what they are doing for their children that taking a few hours for themselves feels strangely indulgent.
A health appointment is not indulgence. Your children benefit from having a parent who looks after his own health too.
Final Thoughts
I don’t think fathers need another frightening health article telling them that every symptom could be something serious.
What we need is a more practical habit: notice changes, don’t self-diagnose them, and don’t indefinitely postpone getting them checked.
Prostate cancer can exist without obvious early symptoms, while urinary symptoms can have many causes other than cancer. Singapore also does not take a blanket approach to prostate cancer screening, which makes an individual discussion with your doctor particularly important.
We spend an enormous amount of energy planning for our children’s futures. Looking after our own health deserves a permanent place somewhere in that plan too.
Facebook