For many parents, once their children are out of diapers, smooth sailing is to be expected.
While that might be true for the most part, there might be a few years of peace before the boat starts rocking again.
Enter the teenage years. This phase of your child’s life might just make the terrible twos seem like a walk in the park in comparison!
Parenting teenagers can be both rewarding and challenging as they navigate the transition from childhood to adulthood.
Here are five tips for parenting teenagers:
Maintain Open Communication:
Open communication is something that is generally fostered from early childhood.
It is created when children feel comfortable opening up to their parents about any issues that they may be facing.
Parents can encourage this behaviour by remaining open-minded when their child approaches them with problems.
Try to avoid meeting their honesty with punishment, if they happen to open up to you about mistakes they have made.
It is more important to ensure that they learn from their mistakes and not commit the same mistake twice, as opposed to being reprimanded for their behaviour.
Sometimes, instead of disciplining your child, it can be more beneficial for you and your child to just feel heard and supported.
You can always correct “wrong” behaviour in a later discussion, but it’s much harder to reverse the damage if your child does not feel comfortable talking to you openly.
Especially when it comes to teenagers, they can benefit a lot from feeling like their parents are not judging them, who knows- you might even get the title of “cool mom” or “cool dad”!
Listen actively and validate their experiences, even if you don’t always agree.
Be patient and approachable, and let them know that they can approach you about important topics such as relationships, school, and future goals.
Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries:
As they enter their more rebellious phase, they might want to challenge the rules that were put in place for them when they were younger.
While it is all well and good for them to experiment with assertiveness, it is important that they remain disciplined, with clear structure in the home.
Establish clear and consistent boundaries for your teenager, including rules and expectations for behaviour, academics, and responsibilities.
Be firm but fair, and enforce consequences when rules are broken.
If your teenager breaks the rules, consequences should come as a direct outcome of the rule being broken, and not a punishment meant to cause the most distress.
An unrelated punishment simply enforces the wrong ideals, like how it is better to not be caught, rather than emphasising that it is better not to break the rule in the first place.
For example, if your teenager breaks curfew, an appropriate consequence would be grounding them for the rest of the week. That way, the next time they go out with their friends again, they will think twice before staying out late, if not they might lose that privilege a second time around.
Setting boundaries helps teenagers understand limits and develop self-discipline, while also providing structure and guidance during a time of significant change and development.
Respect Their Independence:
Recognize and respect your teenager’s growing need for independence and autonomy. Encourage them to make decisions and take on responsibilities appropriate to their age and maturity level.
For example, when most people enter their mid to late teens, they take on part-time jobs. Not only is this a way for them to earn a little extra money to spend on their hobbies, but it is also a great way for your teenager to learn a sense of responsibility at an age-appropriate level.
Not to mention, the soft skills picked up at the usual part-time job like waitressing or working in retail, can help them ease the transition when it is time to fully enter the working world.
Offer guidance and support as they navigate newfound freedoms and responsibilities, while also allowing them space to learn from their experiences and mistakes.
Stay Connected and Involved:
Stay connected and involved in your teenager’s life, even as they assert their independence. Attend school events, extracurricular activities, and family outings together.
In this emotionally tumultuous time in their lives, it is good for your teenager to always have someone in their corner, even if they might be finding it hard to express it.
Being present for your teenager will encourage them to not only open up to you more but also make them feel like they are being well supported as they embark on the journey of finding themselves.
Show interest in their hobbies, interests, and friendships. By staying engaged in their lives, you can offer support, guidance, and encouragement while also strengthening your relationship with them.
Lead by Example:
Last but not least, as parents, you are the first reflection of responsible adulthood that your teenager sees.
Be a positive role model for your teenager by demonstrating values such as honesty, respect, responsibility, and empathy in your own words and actions. Show them how to handle stress, conflicts, and challenges in healthy and constructive ways. Your behaviour serves as a powerful influence on their attitudes and behaviours, so strive to model the qualities and behaviours you want to instil in them.
Parenting teenagers can be challenging, but by maintaining open communication, setting clear boundaries, respecting their independence, staying connected and involved, and leading by example, you can support your teenager’s growth and development during this transformative stage of life.
Facebook