Childhood is an important time in their development.
During our children’s childhood days, they learn how to push us to the limit and see our reaction when they throw their biggest tantrums. While our children are our inspiration and we love them very much, there are bad days where their demands can drive us insane.
While it is ok to give into one or two demands, conceding to them all the time can cause us to wonder if we are overindulging our children and spoiling them.
Won’t they become spoiled or entitled? Or are they just doing these tantrums because they are in a phase? Is it because we are not giving them enough attention?
How does a child grow up feeling entitled?
A child does not grow up feeling they are entitled to things does not happen at once. However, their way of life will push them to this belief.
If the parents always do everything to appease the child even if the child’s demand is unreasonable is a sure way to cause the child to feel entitled. When they don’t get what they want, these entitled kids will bully their parents and demand until they get what they want.
Having a child who is entitled will find it hard to socialize with others. If something doesn’t go to what they want, they will blame others and push others to do what they want. They don’t know the value of empathy, as well as hard work. Their school performance will be affected as well.
If nothing is done to correct it, this sense of entitlement will be carried even when they are grown up. Those who act entitled as adults will find it unable to hold a job, build relationships and finished tasks they are assigned to do.
Want to know what danger signs you need to take notice to prevent your child from becoming an entitled person?
Here are the five warning signs you need to know and how you can correct it:
You never say “No” to your child
In this mistake, you always say “yes” to your child’s demands, especially when you are out in public. Instead of encouraging your child to complete their homework, you ended up doing it for him.
You do this in the hopes that they won’t throw a tantrum. However, doing this disables your child from being able to control their emotions, especially disappointment. When they get older, they will see your “yes” as a way you say your love. If you don’t give them what they want, they will think you hate them.
To correct this, don’t be scared of their tantrums. As parents, you need to set boundaries so your child won’t rule over your life and teach them how to respect you. Setting boundaries will also teach them that not everything they ask will be granted and teach them control.
You are obsessed with making them happy
As parents, we want the best for our children and want to make them happy as much as we can. However, if we always cheer them up immediately after being upset and fight those who caused them discontent, we may end up showing to our kids that it is ok to hurt others just to be happy. We also disable them from understanding why it is acceptable to be unhappy.
To correct this, teach them why it is alright to be upset, be frustrated and feel disappointed. You won’t always be there to cheer them up when they feel upset, so they need to learn how to cope up with them. You can also teach them ways on how they can cheer up and be stronger from the experience.
You don’t encourage gratitude
Although entitled children know how to say “please” and “thank you” on important occasions, in small everyday activities, you don’t practice gratitude at home. As a result, they may say thank you to others outside their family circle but won’t appreciate the daily efforts of their close ones. Their “thank you”s becomes insincere and meaningless.
It is important that you teach your child the importance of gratitude for all the things they get in life. You should not need to press your child to learn this.
You need to explain to your child that there are people out there with poorer circumstances than they have. You can bring them to a charity event or allow them to volunteer. This will not just teach them to be grateful for their current life, but also feel compassion towards others.
You praise them for everything they do
When your child does something for the first time, you will definitely praise them. However, too much praise can be dangerous because it will cause them to believe everything they do should be celebrated. It disables them from persevering to do better, especially when they face failure.
When your child tries to do something new and challenging, instead of direct praise, try asking how they feel and ask them about what they did. Your interest will let them know you are interested, even if they failed to do something correctly. It also helps them to do better and help them discover themselves.
You overindulge them with material goods
A parent who raises entitled kids believes a sure-fire way to stop a child from throwing a tantrum is by piling them up with material goods. Some parents take this to the extreme and would give them expensive toys. Others do this because they can’t spend a lot of time with their kids and buying the latest toys or gadgets ease their parental guilt.
Instead of showing love, you are actually harming your child. Your child will see material things as your way of giving affection. They also cultivate a bad habit of taking their toys for granted since you will be replacing them anyways if they asked. And, if somehow, you rejected their request, they will say you don’t love them.
When they ask for something, don’t just say yes and give them the item they want. Sometimes, our children will outgrow these items easily and it’s not a worthy investment. When they ask, explain to them why you can’t give them what they want. They may get upset, yes, but they need to learn how to cope and know it’s not the end of the world if they don’t get it.
Not everything is going to be okay, not everyday will be perfect and not everyone will love them. It is important that we teach our future generations the values that will allow them to cope with what life throws at them. Values like compassion, empathy and respect will help our children be resilient and responsible adults.
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