There are so many different types of parenting styles and as a parent, you might feel really conflicted about how you can give your child the best so that they can grow to be successful and independent individuals.
The parenting that a child receives is so important as it affects everything about them – from their personality, to habits, and even their education.
But today, I’m going to focus on the impact that parenting would have on your child’s education.
The first type of parenting style:
Helicopter
Helicopter parenting is, as the name suggests, frequently “hovering” around your child, surveilling their every move, and ordering them what to do and not to do.
When you watch over them too much and see that your child is not doing things up to your standard, you will tend to point out their flaws and mistakes, in hopes that your child would correct them.
But when done excessively, a child who’s overly sheltered and always told that they’re wrong will develop low self-esteem and lose the confidence to express their creativity and venture out to find different ways to solve problems.
Instead, you should guide them in arriving at their own conclusions and finding alternative solutions. Ask them questions such as: “What kind of risks would your plan have?” “Would your method be sustainable in the long run?”
Getting them to think through their ideas carefully will help them to learn how to make informed decisions independently.
Authoritarian
An authoritarian parent is one who sets cold, hard rules in stone and expects their child to follow their instructions.
Every parent will wish to give their children the best so that they can excel and have the best prospects in their future, but each parent has their own ideas of what’s “best” for their child and it might differ from what the child really needs.
There are risks in not letting your child follow their own interests and do what’s best for them. If a child lives their life according to their parents’ expectations, they end up not doing what they truly like and may reach a point of burnout where they will feel lost in life and could even eventually drop out midway.
Even if their passion might not sound like the best plan to you, it is important to allow your children to trial and error in their life, so that they would learn from their experiences and leave no regrets for not giving it a shot.
Discipline is great and very necessary, but parents should not be too hard on their children and expect them to follow every expectation. It will cause them to lose the ability to listen to themselves, make the right decisions for themselves and set healthy boundaries.
You can set healthy schedules for your child to follow as a guideline, but allow them to take breaks or adjust their schedules according to what they have on their plate.
This will let them learn self-discipline and time management, rather than just following any order they’ve been told.
Uninvolved
The fast-paced life in Singapore makes both children and their parents often pressed for time, making it difficult for many parents to be with their child every step of the way.
Sometimes, parents simply don’t have the time to sit down with their children and engage in constructive discussions with them, slowly leading them to the right answers, etc. So, parents might often just give their children the answer key for them to copy down the model answers.
Consequently, these children might form the habit of only looking for the answers and struggle with solving problems on their own
This is especially since our syllabus is moving towards testing students with creative questions to see if they are able to apply what they’ve learnt in different scenarios.
But setting aside time to slowly guide their children is not easy for working parents to do, which is why many parents opt to hire private tutors.
Authoritative
The authoritative parenting style is a parenting style that balances both control and two-way communication. The parent gets to exercise their authority while still being open to listening to the child’s needs.
Of all, this parenting style is the most effective as you can discipline your child when they’re getting out of control (e.g. playing too much, not doing their homework, not studying, not managing their time well), but also give them the space to voice out in a healthy manner.
As a result, your child feels safe, is willing to abide by reasonable rules, and is open to respectful discussions about their opinions.
While authoritative parenting has the best balance among the other parenting styles, it is not a fool-proof parenting style and it still requires parents to be flexible and adjust accordingly to their child.
Conclusion
Although as a parent, you would definitely mean best in wanting their child to live their best lives, many popular parenting styles can actually be counter-effective and hinder your child’s ability to excel and become an independent learner.
This is often unintentional, so I hope that this article has helped you to discover how you can help your child truly shine in their academic pursuit!
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