It’s time to get serious again, because we’re here to talk about another prevalent topic with Singaporean teens. That’s right, bullying.
Bullying in school is a big deal. You can’t see when it happens, nor prove anything is going wrong with your child. Yet with your instincts as a parent, you can sense trouble somehow.
Bullies are smart. They cover any physical tracks and force their victims to keep quiet.
If your child doesn’t want to open up, what can you realistically do?
Learn how to recognise the signs and after-symptoms of bullying! It may have already happened, but the important thing is to keep them out of the vicious cycle of bullying as soon as possible.
Today we’ll be sharing these pointers so that you, too, can understand the necessary preventive measures in the future to protect your child.
Why Should You Be Concerned about Bullying?
Don’t ever treat bullying lightly! Different from the adult’s perspective of falling out with peers, the scuffle amongst teenagers is often cruel, unforgiving and painful.
As students stay together in a school environment, they see each other all of the time. This makes it easy to form connections, but it can also become a way to constantly harass another without giving them space to breathe. If your child has been marked, it can be difficult for them to avoid the harassment from the bully (and their friends) daily.
Failing to identify and resolve bullying happening to your child can lead to irreversible damage to your parent-child relationship as your child may feel like they’re all on their own. In more extreme cases, they may begin to have radical thoughts when they are unable to handle the pressure of bullying.
These acts of delinquency stem from a place of ill intent, and the bullies hardly ever stop until they’re caught! This means the situation will ONLY get worse until it is properly resolved..
You MUST stop the situation from snowballing out of control. The initiative always lies with the parent. If you are not confident that you can tackle it alone, you should also seek the assistance of the school and professionals who have more experience in de-escalating student conflict.
The Seven Red Flags
Let’s take a look at the seven commonalities that bullied victims have:
Changes in Behavior
Look for sudden and noticeable changes in your child’s behavior, such as becoming withdrawn, showing signs of anxiety or depression, or displaying uncharacteristic aggression.
Mood swings are a result of the mind’s stress overflowing. It is more important to keep a watch on children who are usually docile and well-behaved when they behave in such a contrasting manner.
Unnatural Physical Injuries
Keep an eye out for the common physical signs of bullying, including unexplained injuries through bruises and swelling.
Additionally, as bullies target the mind more than subjecting their victims to mindless violence, physical health risks can occur in the form of headaches, and changes in eating or sleeping patterns.
Decline in Academic Performance
Notice if your child’s grades start to decline or if they show a sudden lack of interest in school and learning.
This disengagement from their studies implies that they are too stressed or occupied by something else that they are unable to perform well in school.
Social Isolation
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A sudden withdrawal from social activities can also imply ostracism. They are losing friends and becoming more isolated, all of which are signs that have been created from bullying.
Loss of Personal Belongings
Pay attention if your child consistently loses or comes home without personal belongings, as one of the things bullies love the most, is to snatch and possess the belongings of their powerless victims. This can include new stationery, textbooks and even money.
Emotional Distress
Look for signs of emotional distress, such as increased irritability, tearfulness, or feelings of hopelessness and sadness. Your child is calling out an SOS from the bottom of their hearts.
Reluctance to Attend School
If your child frequently complains about or tries to avoid going to school, listen to their reasons a bit more. Is it likely that they’re trying to avoid facing the bully in school?
Remember that these signs can vary from child to child, and not all may be present. If you notice any of these signs, it’s important to have an open and supportive conversation with your child to understand their experiences better and take appropriate action.
Bullying can induce long-term effects that are otherwise unseen early on. And when they’re left untreated, these invisible deficiencies can increase the risk of mental health issues that persist into adulthood.
What’s Next?
Learning about the signs is the first step. Next, you must address it!
Communicate with your child. Have an open and supportive conversation with them about their troubles. Encourage them to share their feelings and concerns, ensuring they feel heard and validated. Assume active listening and have them speak out more.
Reassure them. Let them know that YOU care. They are not alone, and that you are there to support and help them through this challenging time. It is not their fault that they are subject to such an experience, and you will work together to find a solution.
Document Incidents next. Keep a record of any incidents of bullying, including dates, times, locations, and descriptions of what happened. This documentation can provide valuable evidence if further action needs to be taken, depending on the severity of the bullying.
Contact the School. Reach out and inform them about the bullying incidents. Request a meeting with the appropriate school staff, such as teachers, counsellors, or administrators, to discuss the situation and develop a plan of action that will resolve the issue of bullying.
Move them away from the incident. It will take time for them to recover fully, As such, help your child develop strategies to take their mind off the incident. Encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy to de-stress.
You can also ensure that they develop a support network of trusted friends or mentors so that they can remain in a group of positive thinkers.
Follow up, in the event that your child actually suffers from lingering emotional distress, or if the bullying persists despite intervention. Seek professional assistance to resolve the issue and consider support from mental health experts who specialise in working with children and bullying-related issues.
Remember, addressing bullying requires ongoing communication and support. Be patient, proactive, and continue to monitor your child’s well-being, ensuring they feel safe, heard, and supported throughout the process.
If nothing else, we also have hotlines and live messengers from welfare organisations to act as a listening ear. Support for students is abundant as Singapore treats its education system seriously.
A Parent’s Role
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As parents, it is our responsibility to listen, reassure, and advocate for our children. Working collaboratively with schools and professionals is also key to addressing bullying effectively.
Together, we can empower our children, promote their well-being, and foster a world where bullying has no place.
To read more on the topic of bullying, here are a few recommendations!
How to Tell if Your Child is Being Cyberbullied
Bullying: A Winning Approach to Address It
Why Do Students Become Bullies
10 Bullying-Prevention Books for Singapore Parents and Educators
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